The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less
Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction.
Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density
perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction.
Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased
galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization.
Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition.
Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion.
Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production.
Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova
explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary
differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water
condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption.
Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection
and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction.
Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion.
Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus
production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring
nations. Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization.
Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election.
Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation.
Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration.
League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration.
Fission explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar
excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization.
Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web
creation. Composition. Extrapolation?
Copyright 1996-1997 by Eric Schulman. Used with permission. This piece was the inspiration for the book A Briefer History of Time and led to the Annals of Improbable Research Universal History Translation Project. Reprinted from AIR, Volume III, Number 1, January/February 1997, page 27.
A PDF version of the book is released it under a Creative Commons license and can be downloaded for free from here.